Crown Prince in Pakistan: What to expect for (A no satire at all piece)
Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi announced on Wednesday that
at least eight memoranda of (mis)understanding (MoUs) will be signed between
Islamabad and Riyadh during Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman's upcoming
two-day visit to Pakistan.
Addressing a news conference in Islamabad, Mr Qureshi said the
Saudi royal did not wish to visit Pakistan just to eat kinnows or hunt houbara
bustards but to hold fruitful discussions. “So, instead of arranging kinnows or
houbara bustards, we did homework, and a Saudi team visited Pakistan in the
last few days to assess the investment potential in various sectors of the
country on the directives of the crown prince,” he added.
He said the Saudi team also held marathon talks with Pakistani
government officials, and during the whole course, they did not look around for
kinnows too, that is the great success of the Naya Pakistan. “The Saudi advance
team was entertained with chai and biscuits (tikki pack) and they reported back
to authorities in their country that the Naya Pakistan was not a land of
mangoes and kinnows anymore but a world full opportunities. Based on their
feedback, the government expects to sign "at least eight MoUs" with
Saudi Arabia — the details of which will be revealed later.
About the MoUs, the foreign minister told a journalist that
Pakistan and Saudi Arabia would sign an MoU on the promotion of free and fair
media. Saying this, the minister smiled looking at the journalist and said that
Saudi Arabia would benefit from our experience of flourishing the media and
creating jobs for journalists.
“Saudi Arabia can see how our journalists are busy making their
own news stories,” smiled Mr Qureshi. “The whole world can see that our media
is so free and so much free that journalists have no work in their offices
anymore. They don’t have to go to desk or on some assignment and that is the
peak of their freedom. No office timing, no work routine. Free from morning to
evening. Also, we would like to transfer our knowledge on handling the media to
our brethren Saudi Arabians and some ways about controlling the media without
committing the episode of Jamal Khashoggi which wreaked so much embarrassment
on our brothers in media matters. We would like to send our own very
respectable and smart Fawad Chaudhry to Riyadh to tell them how to control the
media.”
This brought a round of applause in the hall and the minister had
to shout to make the journalist quiet.
The uproar died down when the minister revealed that Saudi Arabian
consulate in Islamabad would be also engaged for training the local
journalists.
The minister’s explanation of the MoU brought silence to the press
conference venue.
After this, the Qureshi from Multan went ahead. He said it had
been decided to devise a mechanism to implement the bilateral agreements to be
signed during the visit.
About the other MoUs, he said Pakistan would like to impart the
knowledge of turning water into petrol to Saudi Arabia and in this regard, the
water-run car and its inventor, some Agha from Sindh, would be sent to Saudi
Arabia.
“We want to show Saudi Arabia that our water has some much power
that it can drive a car. In this regard, journalist Hamid Mir’s testimony would
also be presented to the crown prince. If necessary, friend Hamid Mir would
also be handed over to Saudi Arabia,” Mr Qureshi resolved.
However, the journalists did not take this announcement in good
taste, and they said the government was in a way threatening Geo News of
consequences.
Mr Qureshi had to clarify that Hamid Mir would not be sent to
Saudi Arabia. This announcement calmed down the protesting journalists.
He said all relevant ministries will have representation in the
coordination council and they will follow up on the MoUs to ensure their
practical implementation, the foreign minister revealed.
"I am immensely glad that you are seeing a qualitative change
in our relationship [with Saudi Arabia] and will do in the future," he
told reporters.
Before he could share the complete information of MoUs, some
irresponsible journalist shouted” ‘roti khul gai hey’ and this was the end of
the press conference.
(This is a piece of satire.)
