Nasa engineer Hibah Rahman researching space technology on Banigala rooftop

Pakistan-US engineer Hibah Rahmani, a Pakistani-US national who was working at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (Nasa), USA, until coming to Pakistan last week, has resigned from the American job and moved to Pakistan to study and research khalai makhlooq and angels, which according to her, can surpass Nasa workings, if their work is valued and accepted by all. She said this at a seminar of missing persons, who have been under the mentor-ship of astronauts at near Parliament House on Monday. 

Hibah Rahmani discussed her current research being done in the field of space sciences on the rooftops of Banigala. 

“Such research and wonderful works have never been done at Nasa,” said she, adding that “now, I realize that Nasa has reached Mars but it has never produced even a single councilor, let alone a prime minister.” She said it was a good omen that Pakistani families were coming to realize the importance of space sciences and missing people. 

In 2008, Hibab Rahmani joined Nasa’s engineering and technology directorate at Kennedy.

 “I used to provide them technical expertise, follow launch vehicle testing, perform data reviews and provide technical assessments of engineering issues.”

She said that now she realized that she had wasted her time in such useless pursuits as the real space for space technology and space population was available in Pakistan. 

She used to work on expendable launch vehicles and rockets. Now, she plans to visit Bangali Baba in the next three days to see how a stone-heart beau falls on your feet within 24 hours. 

“I can help the Bangali Baba to cut short the wait time to two or three hours if they use some technical aspects as well to win over the tough mahboob sahib or sahiba, whatever the relevant is.” 

On the other hand, Nasa has launched a protest with Pakistani authorities seeking Hibah Rahamni repatriation. 

A statement by Nasa said they sent Hibah Rehmani to Pakistan to research on Banigala rooftop but now she had gone missing. 

Satire: Pervaiz Elahi doesn’t want to replace Imran or Buzdar because he lacks majority

Punjab Assembly Speaker Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi has (half-heartedly) denied the reports (published nowhere) that he has plans to replace Chief Minister Usman Buzdar or Prime Minister Imran Khan. He said he believes both are working in the best interest of the nation.

Learning lessons from the crushed hope of his Chaudhry bhai – Chaudhry Nisar – who was about to replace Buzdar only on the front pages of national newspapers, the Chaudhry of Gujrat felt it appropriate to issue the denial of his likely elevation as chief minister or prime minister.

When asked, if he was being considered as the replacement of Buzdar or Imran, sources close to Mr Elahi said he wished that he be considered as their replacement, and at the end of the day, he would refuse to replace them.

Recently, newspapers reported that Chaudhry Nisar was going to take the oath and replace Buzdar as chief minister. Initially, these stories grabbed the front page of newspapers, and huge airtime but later when Imran Khan issued a strong denial, the rumours were never denied.

“Mr Elahi also wants such coverage for himself,” said the sources close to him.

“This way, talk show hosts are after you; several MPAs and MNAs who otherwise ignore you starts pestering you. One almost starts feeling like a CM or PM, even if there’s no remote chance for them to become CM.”

At a press talk with Punjab Assembly beat reporters, Mr Elahi said he did not want to become a CM or PM, because the system was working well now.

“You see we want first Moonis Elahi to become a federal minister. Once this objective is achieved, we will wait and see,” he said. Off the record he said many things, which implied when a crisis hits the government, they would become the ultimate choice of the power to be.

“The system is working well. Let’s not be in a hurry. The Imran government is not in a hurry. They (pointing fingers upward) are also not in a hurry. So, let us bury the issue for a while or maybe for good four years.”

The statement by the House of Gujrat triggered speculations in the political circles.

Governor Chaudhry Sarwar said he was happy with the post of the governorship, and he did not want to become the chief minister.

Later, Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi also issued a statement that he had no intention to become a chief minister.

“If Imran Khan makes chief minister, then I’ll have no choice but to accept it.”

His last sentence has panicked the house of Jahangir Tareen.

Satire: Only Imran Khan can remove me (after getting instruction from somewhere), Dr Yasmin Rashid reveals

Exonerating angels and humans (both plainclothes and uniformed) from playing a decisive role in her the likely removal from the office, Punjab’s most healthy and wealthy minister (for sick department called health) Dr Yasmin Rashid has said with 50 percent uncertainty and 50 percent certainty that only and only Prime Minister Imran Khan has the authority to remove her from her office on the directions of real power.

In a talk with a private TV channel, Dr Yasmin Rashid said that she might not be coming up to expectations of the prime minister as Imran Khan had been told so from the headquarters of common people.

“Chief Minister Usman Buzdar has told me several times that my performance is good,” she said. On behalf of Usman Buzdar, his spokesperson Dr Shahbaz Gill said he could confirm that Dr Yasmin Rashid was not going to be sacked in the next 10 minutes.

“I don’t want to be the Fawad Chaudhry-2,” he said, adding that he did not want to replace Dr Yasmin Rashid if she was sacked.  

She said she believed that Imran Khan took decision on the basis of tweets, retweets and social media presence about departmental workings.

“By the grace of Almighty, I’ve more than 100,000 followers on Twitter, and I tweet 50 or so everyday degrading opposition and lecturing them on their past corruption, present cases and future conviction,” she said.

She said to counter the Young Doctors Association, she had planned to launch Old Doctors Association, and only the permission of Prime Minister Imran, who is young at heart, was required.  

She offered that the premier could replace her if he found a more suitable person for serving the health ministry.

She gave a few suggestion to replace her.

“I think Fayyazul Hassan Chohan is a good choice to replace me,” she smiled.

“The other choice could be Amir Kayyani,” she said.

Sources said she wanted Chohan or Kayyani to replace her so that only their performance could tell the power corridor that how excellent she is/was.”

To a question, she said all party members of the Punjab Assembly were with Chief Minister Usman Buzdar, and she was comfortable in working with the incumbent chief minister.

Satire: Japan, Germany rewriting geography books after Imran Khan’s border lesson

Japan and Germany have reportedly ordered their textbook writers to make sure that they are neighbours in the geography lessons for their youths in the Naya World after the creating of a Naya Pakistan, Banigala sources have revealed to us.

After Prime Minister Imran Khan revealed on Monday how Japan set up joint industries in the border region to bolster economic ties with Germany.

Also, history writers in France and Germany have been told to correct their books that in the Second World War, it were not Germany and France, but Japan and Germany that fought each other and killed millions of their civilians before they entered into joint industrial ventures, now discovered by PM Imran Khan.  

“The more trade you have with each other your ties automatically become stronger…Germany and Japan killed millions of their civilians until after the Second World War when they both decided to have joint industries on their border regions,” he said while speaking at an event in Tehran, where he went for a two-day visit.

After the new border arrangements, French President Emmanuel Macron dialed geography changer Imran Khan, but he did not attend his call. Imran Khan, who was sitting by Iranian President Hassan Rouhani at the press conference, showed his phone screen to the host that how impatiently the French president was calling him. Imran Khan sent him a WhatsApp message that right now, he was busy, and would dial him a missed call later.

Earlier, the French president had tried to call Imran Khan when he was meeting a delegation of journalist at the Prime Minister Office, but he was not lucky enough to be entertained.

After the Second World War, France and Germany joined hands to lay the foundation of the European Union.

A spokesperson for Naya Pakistan’s flagship party has criticised opposition leaders who dubbed Imran Khan’s geographic discoveries as slip of tongue, saying that no one can deny Japan, the island nation in East Asia, had a border with the western European nation instead of neighbouring France.

National Geographic and Discovery channels have announced hiring Imran Khan as analyst once he retires as prime minister of Naya Pakistan.

Old Japan's old closest neighbors Korea, Russia and China are now searching for new neighbours after Imran Khan’s shocked discovery.

Satire: How to rescue Mehwish from Tamgha backlash, actors tell us

In the ZAB Media Festival's live session on film and TV, moderated by journalist Manal Faheem Khan, panelists have focused on the techniques how to make society accept that Mehwish Hayat has won Tamgha-i-Imtiaz through nomination, and not by snatching it from the president.

"We can start a campaign on social media giving shout-outs that Mehwish is a Tamgha holder now, and there is nothing you people, I mean the people at large, can do about that,” said thoughtful Laal Kabootar actor Mansha Pasha.

"Our society thinks women, especially those like Mehwish Hayat, need to get grey head first to be eligible for the highest award,” she said.

“Gone are those days now.”

She predicted that after Mehwish, she could be awarded the Tamgha.

“If actress as simple as Mehwish can be awarded the Tamgha, why not me too? Mujh me kia kami hi to receive the Tamgha?”

Hareem supported Mansha, "Our film industry is very small; luckily, it has women with brain and looks. First, those with looks can be awarded Tamghas; later on, those with brains can be rewarded Tamghas. And I can wait for being on the list of brainy people.”

Also, Eman Suleman's recent LSA nomination came under discussion.

Hareem said, "We're living in a time where women receiving such prestigious awards are questioned but nobody stands up and questions when a harasser is getting awards."

"There's a certain demonisation of women in Pakistan. They can do no right by people. Women are pitted against each other, it's unfortunate and it benefits no one. Women are judged for everything except for their achievements, and that needs to stop now," Mansha concluded, according to dawn.com

In the ZAB Media Festival's live session on film and TV, moderated by journalist Manal Faheem Khan, panelists have focused on the techniques how to make society accept that Mehwish Hayat has won Tamgha-i-Imtiaz through nomination, and not by snatching it from the president.

"We can start a campaign on social media giving shout-outs that Mehwish is a Tamgha holder now, and there is nothing you people, I mean the people at large, can do about that,” said thoughtful Laal Kabootar actor Mansha Pasha.

"Our society thinks women, especially those like Mehwish Hayat, need to get grey head first to be eligible for the highest award,” she said.

“Gone are those days now.”

She predicted that after Mehwish, she could be awarded the Tamgha.

“If actress as simple as Mehwish can be awarded the Tamgha, why not me too? Mujh me kia kami hi to receive the Tamgha?”

Hareem supported Mansha, "Our film industry is very small; luckily, it has women with brain and looks. First, those with looks can be awarded Tamghas; later on, those with brains can be rewarded Tamghas. And I can wait for being on the list of brainy people.”

Also, Eman Suleman's recent LSA nomination came under discussion.

Hareem said, "We're living in a time where women receiving such prestigious awards are questioned but nobody stands up and questions when a harasser is getting awards."

"There's a certain demonisation of women in Pakistan. They can do no right by people. Women are pitted against each other, it's unfortunate and it benefits no one. Women are judged for everything except for their achievements, and that needs to stop now," Mansha concluded, according to dawn.com

Satire: How to rescue Mehwish from Tamgha backlash, actors tell us

In the ZAB Media Festival's live session on film and TV, moderated by journalist Manal Faheem Khan, panelists have focused on the techniques how to make society accept that Mehwish Hayat has won Tamgha-i-Imtiaz through nomination, and not by snatching it from the president.

"We can start a campaign on social media giving shout-outs that Mehwish is a Tamgha holder now, and there is nothing you people, I mean the people at large, can do about that,” said thoughtful Laal Kabootar actor Mansha Pasha.

"Our society thinks women, especially those like Mehwish Hayat, need to get grey head first to be eligible for the highest award,” she said.

“Gone are those days now.”

She predicted that after Mehwish, she could be awarded the Tamgha.

“If actress as simple as Mehwish can be awarded the Tamgha, why not me too? Mujh me kia kami hi to receive the Tamgha?”

Hareem supported Mansha, "Our film industry is very small; luckily, it has women with brain and looks. First, those with looks can be awarded Tamghas; later on, those with brains can be rewarded Tamghas. And I can wait for being on the list of brainy people.”

Also, Eman Suleman's recent LSA nomination came under discussion.

Hareem said, "We're living in a time where women receiving such prestigious awards are questioned but nobody stands up and questions when a harasser is getting awards."

"There's a certain demonisation of women in Pakistan. They can do no right by people. Women are pitted against each other, it's unfortunate and it benefits no one. Women are judged for everything except for their achievements, and that needs to stop now," Mansha concluded, according to dawn.com