Satire: Foreign hands responsible for the street crime to hardcore terrorism in Pakistan, says Shah Mehmood Qureshi

Exonerating law-enforcers from negligence in the Oramara massacre on April 18 and an earlier suicide bombing in the Hazarganji market in Quetta, Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi on Saturday said that Pakistan expected that two brother countries – both Muslims fortunately, to take action against the terrorist groups behind the Ormara massacre.

Addressing a press conference in Islamabad, cool and calm Qureshi said that the whole country was angry and upset over the incident and wanted to know why this incident had taken place and who was behind it.

“I ask these two countries, particularly, and the whole world (except for brother countries like Saudi Arabia and America) generally, that why these incidents are happening and who is behind it,” he roared at the press conference without looking at journalists in front of him.

“On the basis of verified information, it is safe to say that the training and logistical camps of this new alliance are based inside these two countries,” he said.

At least 14 passengers were separated from other passengers on different buses and then shot dead by gunmen on the Makran Coastal Highway in Ormara, Balochistan early on Thursday. The Hazaganji bomber, however, was blind in the selection of his targets. Though, his main targets were the Hazaras, collateral damage claimed more than 10 non-Hazara people.

When asked why the two unnamed countries were being dubbed responsible for the bloodbath, Mr Qureshi reasoned that it was because whenever there was a suicide blast inside these two countries and even a third country, they all pointed finger at us.

“For these reasons, we have decided to blame these countries whenever there’s terrorism in Pakistan. This is called tit-for-tat diplomacy,” the seasoned diplomat minister argued.

About the law-enforcers’ role in combating terrorism, Mr Qureshi said they had done their job.

“Look, after the blast, who reached the site? Of course, our own law enforcers. Who cordoned off the crime scene? Who has registered the FIR? Who is investigating the case? Bhai, these difficult tasks are being done by our own police and other departments.”

He said he had asked the neighbouring countries to draft landmark documents like the National Action Programme so that whenever there is terrorism in their countries, they could show to their public that now NAP would be followed in letter and spirit.

“This strategy helps to soothe public anger, and we have experience in dealing with such situations again and again,” he said.

He also offered to share statements based on condemnation after every terrorist attack with neighboring countries.

“These statements are not only suitable for newspapers, but also for TV tikkers, and seminars and interviews.”  

"The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan avails itself of this opportunity to renew to the esteemed embassy the assurances of its highest consideration," a letter by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs concluded.