Satire: Summit celebrates crisis in media houses, calls readers, viewers the real problem

Celebrating the success of crisis in the media, a group of editors (both flop and successful), retired editors, budding editors, and family and friends of editors have held readers and viewers responsible for the ongoing crisis in media houses, and called for their training as well as strict laws to keep them in limits.

The group, which consists of only (self-made) legends, and (self-styled) great names, met at the Shughal Mela Summit at an undisclosed location to discuss media matters like the crisis in media houses, disinformation and so on.  

One of the great names said at the summit the crisis had brought opportunities for them, such as this gathering of great names.

“At least, now we know who’s great and who’s not,” said a great backbencher.

A session on ‘How the crisis happened’, another great name was of the view that with their persistent work and dedication, they had brought about the crisis.

“We’ve lost readers and viewers over the years,” announced one panelist, who started his career as an editor in 1950 at the age of 10. “We were told that the reader wants new content. We were reminded that storytelling is important in stories. But we’ve resisted their demands, and today, by the grace of God, we are left with a few loyal readers, and we will keep testing their loyalty too.”  

A great name from a popular TV channel, however, warned the audience that the loyal audience was the most dangerous things for the media, and there should be a discussion in the summit on how to get rid of them.

“The work is ongoing, and very soon, loyal audience would be a rare species,” smiled an editor. In the concluding remarks of the session, the moderator asked if anyone in the summit had been affected by the crisis. Only one person stood up. He was first condemned and later on chucked out of the summit.

The summit discussed fake news and most of the participants were convinced that fake news was as real as hell.

“Look, what am I doing?” smiled the great name panelist.

“Smiling,” said the audience in a chorus.

“Oh, come on, it is a fake smile. Now, how many of you disagree that a fake smile is not a smile?”

Silence. 

Then, a round of applause erupted in the hall. The panelist smiled again. Guess, was it a real smile or otherwise?

The summit also condemned those journalists who were still working despite pay cut, salary delay and long working hours. By the time, this report was being published, the summit was ongoing.